After the shock started to wear off, I found myself asking why I got cancer. Was it too much ice cream? Too many trips to Alberto's? Cooking my food in high heat on a teflon-coated pan? Not enough veggies? Too many pizzas?
There is no cancer in my family. I have none of the thyroid cancer risk factors. Yet I have cancer.
Many argue it is our terrible nutrition here in the US of A. Kris Carr discusses this in her book "Crazy Sexy Cancer," though I have yet to read a hardcore scientific book on diet and cancer, so I don't take it as gospel.
Anyway, as I was coming back from getting coffee this afternoon (it's the coffee! or the whipped cream I get on it once a week!), I started thinking of humorous reasons why I might have gotten cancer and here they are.
-I cussed out too many drivers on my commute.
-I used to take cookies when no one was looking and would rearrange them so it wouldn't look like any were missing.
-I surfed the internet too much at work instead of working.
-I flirted with too many older men, professors, bosses, and doctors (oops).
-I told too many girlfriends about a former boyfriend's lack of sexual prowess (Karma!).
-I was a shoplifter when I was 12 and never got caught.
-Masturbation, porn watching, exhibitionism and other sexual adventures.
Do you have humorous or twisted-funny reasons why you might have gotten cancer? Share! We all need more laughter.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment