The C Word

First post.

April 1, 2008 12:51 pm.

My endocrinologist calls me at work.  He sounds nervous.

"Do you, um, have a few minutes?"

My hand starts shaking so badly I think I am going to drop the phone.

"Your biopsy has come back suspicious for cancer.  Your thyroid is going to have to come out."

"What?!"  Cue sobbing.

"I know this is  a shock to hear.  I didn't expect this result at all.  I need you to write down this name that I am going to give you and call him to schedule surgery..."

I nodded, sobbing, as I wrote down the name of the surgeon.

"The prognosis is excellent," he told me, something I only remembered eight hours later.  "This is very easy to treat.  I know this is shocking, please give me a call if you have any questions, if you think of anything."

I squeaked out an okay between sobs and hung up.  I was in my office, with the door shut and I just cried and cried.  After a few minutes I composed myself.

My life had just changed forever.

Thyroid cancer is commonly referred to as the "the good cancer" because it is fairly "easy" to treat, is slow growing, and doesn't require chemo.  NO cancer is ever "good."  Don't let this fool you and don't let people minimize what you are going through.  

I am 28 years old, fairly healthy.  I was morbidly obese but I had lost 40 pounds through diet and exercise (still losing)  to get to a more normal weight.    At 207 and  5'6 I am still considered obese on the BMI. There is no cancer in the family.    

I have had hypothyroidism since 2005.  I also had many nodules, and one was to be biopsied back then but the soonest I could get in was in TWO MONTHS so by the time I went in, it had shrunk.  My nodules were monitored and this year one had enlarged so Dr. M had opted to biopsy, constantly telling me that it was nothing, that 90% of these things are benign, that he didn't expect to find anything wrong.  

Though the suspicious result was not a flat-out malignant declaration, this evolved as I met the guy who was going to save my neck, Dr. S.   He blew my head off in our first meeting by telling me the biopsy was "highly suspicious" for papillary carcinoma and that for all intents and purposes, I have thyroid cancer.   He also told me Dr. M had seen a suspicious lymph node.  Excuse my french, but FUCK!  

As of today this is all I know.  Currently I am reading a lot of books and making a lot of calls to my health insurance, HealthNot, as I am currently calling it, trying to get my authorization done so I can get treated.    I'm nervous and scared.

I decided to start this blog, first and foremost, to spare everyone else I know on my "personal" journal from hearing about my ups and downs.  Second, I thought there might be others out there like me who needed to hear from someone going through the same thing.   

It's been almost two weeks since my life changed; with every step it changes even more.