As I have not received any treatment yet, I am still working. I work in fundraising at a large, well-known university. I was recently promoted after my boss left (I took her job). I was very excited to have control of programs that I previously just did the grunt work on, but then of course I received the call and that completely threw me off.
My colleagues have been very supportive so luckily they are not the problem. I am the one that is the problem! I have trouble asking for help, first of all, and don't like to give the impression that I have any weakness, especially on the job. I am known for getting things done. But now I am having trouble getting things done.
Today I am going to perform a little exercise to see if it will help. I am going to write out why I am distressed and the related feelings. I will let you know if it helps.
-I am anxious to get my surgery scheduled and am frustrated with the HMO and my doctor's office.
-I feel like I am out of control.
-I am in limbo.
-I am scared that I am not going to get good treatment.
-I think this because of the snail's pace at which this process is moving.
-I am scared that I am going to slip into a major depression.
-I am scared about not having enough sick time to cover the entirety of my treatment.
-I am scared that I am going to lose everything if I cannot return to work before my sick time runs out.
What can I do?
-I need to think about my needs right now. Right now I am trying to get work done. Right now I need my surgery scheduled.
That is all I am going to be concerned with.
I am going to work now and I will report back.
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